Deborah E answers the question, “We live together with our two month old son though we are yet to get married. My boyfriend is a serial cheater and this hurts me a lot. I am tired, frustrated, depressed, and want to walk out of the relationship. Please provide advice to me on this.”
I feel for you and the pain that you must be going through. It appears you have invested a lot into this relationship and probably are a woman with a high capacity to love and to hope. These are excellent qualities to have, so pat yourself on the back for your perseverance.
Judging from your use of the word, “serial,” it appears that possibly your boyfriend is not taking steps to correct the behavior. Possibly he does not view that it is wrong, or he does not feel that it merits the amount of effort to change it. If he is truly trying to change (i.e. seeking a counselor, finding an accountability method, etc.), then this would be a different story. However, I am operating from the assumption that there are no real efforts or desires to change the behavior and that is why you used the word, “serial.”
Deborah E answers the question, “I want to reduce all of my negative thoughts and want an adviser where i can talk all of my problems. I need more time and if i get any response then i can tell all of my problems.”
I am glad to hear that you want to reduce your negative thoughts. Sometimes that is a lot harder than it seems. Also, it is much easier to think positive thoughts than to try not to think negative thoughts. In other words, fill that cup with the positive so the negative is replaced with that positive thinking.
It seems as if you may be tiring of talking out the problems with no feedback. Sometimes it is difficult when we meet with a counselor or adviser because we feel like we have to talk and talk and talk to explain where we are coming from, just to get to the point where the real issues lie, the “heart of the issue.” We invest so much time into the telling of our story and feel that we are not getting enough of a response or feedback to feel better and get those positive thoughts growing. Finding that good “fit” as far as counselor or adviser is similar to the amount of effort and work it takes to find that one mate for life. That is a lot of work!
Deborah E answers the question, “How do I overcome abuse, in general?”
First, we need to determine if it is overcoming current abuse or past abuse. If it is current abuse, there is really no getting over it until you remove yourself from the abuse. If it is obviously abuse, you need to get out! If it is not abuse, but uncomfortable, then we would need to consider coping methods in dealing with the less-than-ideal situation.
I have a feeling you are referring to exactly what you said here, abuse.
Overcoming abuse is a process. It does not happen overnight. At first, when one discovers that they are free from abuse, and at a point where they are free to recover, the desire is to instantly feel better (common to us, as humans), and to have clarity on what we are
Everybody who plans a wedding wants it to be that little bit special. We want to buy the special gown, book a special venue, order the nicest cake, and arrive in the most luxurious or unusual transportation. However, these items are expensive, and the more select the choices the more the cost goes up. However, it is possible to impress your guests without spending an absolute fortune. Although we all want our wedding to be perfect, and not have to worry about the expense, sometimes the little things become the most memorable. Below are a few ways that you can make your wedding memorable, with a more subtle approach.
Wedding Invitations
The whole wedding ceremony starts with the invitations, and what better time than this to start to make the impression you want? Invitations come in all shapes and sizes, and can be beautiful to touch as well as to look at. But if you want your invitation to become memorable, you need to stop it slipping from memory. One way to do this is to make your wedding invitation a countdown to the big day. You can have your invitation made to your design, but also have it made to be a countdown until the morning of the ceremony. Another idea is to have reminders on the calendar such as “Don’t forget to buy your shoes, only 1 week to go”. This turns the traditional into a bit of fun that people will enjoy.
Deborah E answers the question, “What is a relationship?”
According to dictionary.com relationship means “a connection, association, or involvement” and “connection between persons” and “an emotional or other connection between people.”
As far as defining the relationship further, we need to get the generalities out of the way. Are we talking about a relationship between father and son, mother and daughter, teacher and student, or boyfriend and girlfriend? These relationships have similarities and they have differences.
For example, if we are discussing teacher and student, we would not talk about intimacy issues, similar to what would be discussed with a
Deborah E answers the question, “hi, ma’am. I love one girl, she was working in my company. I love her from my heart. We enjoy every moment. One day her friend told she was date with other friend. He is from 1000km away. I ask her about it. She told it’s my life’s bad moment. i moved with him and stay 4 days but she told nothing happen between us. I forgive her and I told her, “I am with you forget all else.” After some days she start avoiding me. My question is why she start avoiding me, even when I help her with money and I give her everything? Why she did like?”
The reality is that love cannot be purchased. Granted, all relationships, to some extent, involve a “master transaction” or transactions. In more common and acceptable terms, “give and take.” One would hope that these transactions, are done out of love for one another, a deep love. It appears that you are motivated by your deep love for this girl and that is highly commendable. However, if this girl does not feel the same kind of love for you, that you find for her, then she may not feel the passion that would motivate her to be kind to you.
There are other motivations for participating in the “give and take” beyond deep love, even if that is the preferred motivation. There is also obligation. For example, a couple may marry because one person has more money than the other, but it is possible that the other person feels obligated to treat the first person kindly in order to retain the position of being married (and having access to the money).