Our biggest fear in the world is that something happens to someone we love. Every single one of us would like to die before those closest to us, but unfortunately that is not how things work. They wouldn’t want us to ruin anymore of our life mourning them because they know how precious life is and how little time we really have left in the grand scheme of things. If it was up to them they would want you to follow your dreams and achieve everything you deserve.
There is nothing wrong with mourning their death as soon as it happens, but sooner or later you need to wake up with a smile on your face. You need to jump out of bed and skip downstairs because you’re looking forward to whatever the new day brings. You know that is what they’d want and they will be spurring you on as they look down on you. Getting to this stage is hard work, so we can look at a few ways that might help you get your life back on track after the funeral.

Deborah E answers the question, “How can I be a good girlfriend and make my boyfriend happy?”

That is a challenge, that we all could face on a daily basis.

There are a couple questions that come to mind. First of all, in what way are you attempting to please your boyfriend? Are you referring to pleasing him in general, such as thinking of his needs and wants before your own, cooking his favorite meal, watching the football game with him when you would rather watch your favorite TV show, spending the evening with him instead of going out with your girlfriends? Or, are you feeling as if he doesn’t love you and pleasing him would help solidify your relationship?

That is a challenge, that we all could face on a daily basis.

Deborah E answers, “Nowadays I am feeling very tense. Nothing is going right.”

We all have these tense moments from time to time, so you are certainly normal in feeling this way. The thing that we need to keep in mind is how much this controls your life and every waking moment of the day. In that case, it is extreme and can be detrimental to your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Even if everything in your life were to be going “right” and smooth, if you are tense, it isn’t going to *feel* like it is going right and it will file like a train that has gotten de-railed off the railroad tracks.

So, let’s look at the tense feelings, first. It is best if we can define the root cause of the tense feelings and negativity that is creeping into your perspective. This may not be that easy to identify and may require the assistance of a therapist or counselor to help you work through and talk out your issues. In that way, if you can get to a particularly bothersome root cause, you may be able to address it or

Deborah E answers, “I had a friend who was very close to me. We were in contact for two years. I loved him a lot. We had a good time with each other but now I came to know that he doesn’t love me and has a girlfriend. I don’t know how to take all this. I am totally messed up. Please help me out. i can’t forget him and can’t see him with the other girl either.”

Love is a complicated thing. It can be felt, for some, at different levels and in different ways. The fact that you had a friendship with this guy for two years said that you do each care about each other. While it is possible that he was “faking” it, as far as the friendship (only because we have to allow for all possibilities), it is not probable, unless there is some motivation for faking it. So, let’s assume that the friendship was, and still is, genuine.

Do you have really good friends of yours, say that you have known and cared about since you were young? Do you care about them? Would you say you love them? That is a form of love that you feel for each of these dear friends of yours.

Deborah E answers, “I am lost and depressed every time when I don’t get true love.”

I do feel for you, with the pain of possibly unrequited (“un-returned”) love, not finding the love of your life, or not even finding that special someone with whom you can have a relationship, in the here and now.

All of us as humans, desire to love and be loved, and many of us search for that love. Some of us may even find it, but you know, even for those of us who find “true love” it is not a 100% bed of roses and it does not solve all of our problems, or even fill all of the crevices in us that desire to be loved so entirely.

Understanding that no one person can satisfy all of our human needs and wants and desires is a first step toward putting the desire for love and a companion into perspective. Another aspect of that is to realize