Deborah E answers the question, “Hi Deborah, i just got married this year, in January, but before that i was dating another girl. i have a problem. It is now getting bigger and bigger. I still love my ex-girlfriend and we are still dating. I don’t know how can i stop this. I am trying not to think about her but I can’t. Help me. How can i stop loving her? I want peace of mind.”

This is a difficult situation, being married to one person and in love with another person. Some of these decisions depend on your culture and beliefs, so I will leave that to you, as far as how much, or how little, those play into your decision making process.

Let me ask you. Are you in love with your current spouse? If you are so much more in love with the woman that you are dating, and have been all along, that is something that you may want to consider, rather than prolonging the pain for all people involved. However, I am not suggesting that you end the marriage, but rather, take a personal assessment of where you are in your relationship with your spouse and your relationship with your girlfriend, especially in light of the fact that the marriage seems to be less than four months old and this dating relationship has been going on this whole time. I would not want to see anyone hurt more than they are already hurt, including your spouse.

Deborah E answers the question, “I have been in love for almost a year. When my girlfriend told her mother about our relationship, her mother got angry and asked my girlfriend to stop the relationship at once. My girlfriend is her only daughter. My girlfriend loves her parents dearly, too. After that incident, the way my girlfriend messages me and the way she talks to me is like she is avoiding me. It really hurts. This has been going on for three, almost four months, and yesterday she messaged me that she would like to end this relationship. I tried to comfort her, but nothing worked. What should I do? I really do need her and I can’t live without her. Please help me.”

I can certainly understand how painful this is, how your heart yearns for your girlfriend and to comfort her and how it seems that it his her mother that is standing in your way, and not only that, but that your girlfriend may need a sort of rescuing and you feel that you want to do that.

This first question that should be asked, getting it out of the way, is age of your girlfriend. While this will differ from country to country and culture to culture, there may be some things to take into consideration. For example, if your girlfriend is not an adult, then her mother may be that much more concerned, and feel that she has that much more “say” in what her daughter does, depending on government laws and the culture.

Deborah E answers the question, “I am 23 years old, living in India. i got engaged in Nov 2011 and I’m legally married. My partner is 27 years old, living in Australia. We both are very opposite persons. We were having small small issues and now it’s turning to become such big issues that I want a separation from him. He loves me and I don’t want to separate, but i don’t feel like even talking to him. Please help me out. Thank you.”

Oh, that is such a hard situation to be in, and so young to be facing such a situation! I feel for you in this time of difficulty.

It appears that you do have some desire to retain this marriage. However, it was interesting to note that you said he loves you and that you do not want to end the marriage. Do you love him? Another question to you is whether the ending of the marriage, and the reluctance to do so, is based on love or obligation. It is honorable to stay married out of obligation, but it is also helpful if you understand what your reasons are, for yourself, so that you may better address them.

It seems, with both of you in separate countries, that you are already, effectively, separated. However, you mentioned that you still have issues, in spite of the geographical separation. What would be really helpful is if you could meet with a counselor and figure out what

Flowers are meant to do a lot more than just remind us of nature’s flair for art and colours. For us mortals, they serve as an excellent channel to convey a thought or a message that otherwise no combination of 26 alphabets could put together. While on the common occasions it’s easy to decode what the colour of a bouquet represents, what do you do when you receive a bouquet from the man you’re seeing? Is he trying to convey something? Relax; we’re here to help. Allow us to decode for you the hidden meaning behind five bouquet colours (apart from the obvious and clichéd red, of course) that your date will/may send you along the course of your relationship.

Deborah E answers the question, “I’m in love with a married man. I have tried so hard to let go but I still cant. He is also responsible for my education. What should I do now?”

I realize that this love you have for this married man is intense and you feel it deeply, but you need to be able to look at the situation from all aspects, including your heart. It is interesting that you wrote this question, as it is very similar to another question I received recently, I Can’t Lose The Married Man I Love. Please check out that Ask Deborah E question/answer, as well.

You mentioned that this married man is “also responsible for [your] education.” What does that mean, exactly? I noted it as “paying” for your education, but the phrase “responsible” may have other meanings, as well. For example, he may be a teacher or another professional within an educational facility. If this is the case, then the answer to your question takes on another facet beyond the fact that he is married, and that needs to be considered, as well.