Every girl dreams of the day she will get married and spends her childhood planning it. When you eventually get to the age where it’s possible you realize you need to find the right guy. This can sometimes be a lot harder than it seems, they don’t grow on trees. Everyone seems to split-up whenever the weather changes and it’s a disturbing thought. It means you really need to be sure you want to get married. Something even more disturbing is having a boyfriend that wants to get married, but for some reason you think he could be cheating on you.
I’m not saying your boyfriend will be cheating on you, but if you’re already starting to suspect it you need to find out. There’s no way you can get married to someone you think is playing away. It will all end in disaster and become very embarrassing for you. If you haven’t spoken to him yet there’s a few things you can do before you have that chat. Let’s go over a few of them now, but remember that it’s always better hearing it from him. Some of these will require you to be on your guard, so take some notes.
Track his movements
This doesn’t include jumping in your car and following him down the road. It’s more to do with paying attention to what he does with his time. Every couple has to spend time apart and it might be a good idea to listen to what he says from now on. If you’re not naturally suspicious you might just accept anything he tells you about where he is going, yet after thinking about it you might realize it’s strange that he’s going to the gym every day and still looks the same.
Giving him a good smell
Start welcoming him home with a nice big hug. You’ll be close enough to smell another woman’s perfume. Watch what he does when you get in close. If he has anything to hide he might try to avoid contact with you, or perhaps take your mind away from what you are trying to do. He also shouldn’t be jumping in the shower every time he gets home. Tell him there are showers at the gym so he should use those.
See what he’s doing online
If you install keylogger software on your computer you can become James Bond and spy on him. This doesn’t mean you can go crazy and start becoming an expert in everything he does online, but if he’s coming home smelling of perfume you can definitely do this to get the proof you need rather than have him lie to you. Whenever he goes on ‘your’ computer it will take a recording of everything he does. Just don’t start messing with a computer that’s not yours.
Show up unexpectedly
If he is at work you could maybe give him a call telling him you’re in the local area and ask him if he wants to do lunch. If he’s at home alone you could maybe come home an hour early. This shouldn’t look like you are creeping around after him, so try to keep everything natural. If he starts to get angry at your timekeeping skills there has to be a good reason for it.
Ask him questions
Have you ever been caught in between a rock and a hard place because someone has asked you a question? It doesn’t need to be about something you did wrong. Maybe you just don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings so try to make up a white lie. It’s very difficult to make things up on the spot and not much people are good at it. You could just ask him sly questions and see how he responds and if he does it easily.
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How well do you really know him? Do you know his little quirks, annoying habits, and personality traits? Do you know how he’s going to react when he becomes stressed? How does he react to you when you get stressed? These are all important things to think about before getting married. You need to know what sort of man you’re going to be living with on a daily basis for the rest of your life. If he has a hot temper and tends to throw things or punch holes in walls, you may want to take care of this problem before getting married. If you don’t know how he’s going to react to a particular situation, you may want to spend some more time getting to know him. I firmly believe that living together, at least for a year, prior to marriage is key to any successful relationship. You can’t get to know a person well enough until you’ve lived with them, and dealt with them on a daily basis. While living seperatly it’s easy to hide your flaws from your partner, and avoid them on days where you’re upset or stressed. But living in the same space, and not being able to hide your emotions or problems will give you both a true sense of whether or not your marriage will survive difficult situations.
The research, based on a survey of more than 19,000 individuals who married between 2005 and 2012, also found relationships that began online are slightly happier and less likely to split than those that started offline.
When difficulties arise, its important to focus on the commitment to one another, feelings come and go but a commitment lasts a life time. Its good to look back and remember why you married your partner, what you saw in them, and think of the good times you had to encourage you when difficulties arise. No marriage is perfect and if both partners are working to a oneness in the relationship, it will flourish. When one partner stops working towards this relationship, it is usually because of “words” spoken. Marriages need to learn to fight fairly. Put down ground rules, no blame, no putdowns, etc. They need to deal with the issues at hand, not the emotions. Emotions will come into line once the problem has been dealt with.