The end of a relationship often signals the beginning of a lot of drama. Too many times breakups deteriorate into childish actions, name-calling, and general immature, defensive drama. If you want to break up with your boyfriend, you should do so as calmly and evenly as possible, no matter what the reason is for calling it quits. If you want to beat the bad breakup drama, here are some tips to follow to help you keep things civil.

[singlepic id=71 w=320 h=240 float=left]
Have the Courage to Face Him

If you want to be an adult about things, to avoid drama, make sure you break up with him in an adult way. Do not ever send a text, email, or Facebook message to break up with someone. And, unless you have a long-distance relationship where you won’t be seeing each other for another three months, don’t do it over the phone. Break up with him in person, face-to-face. It’s the decent thing to do.

You’re dating a great guy, and things have been going well for a while now. But, you’ve been burned before, and you know sometimes things aren’t always what they seem. Even when a relationship seems like a good one, eventually the honeymoon period is over, and you realized you wasted your time with the wrong man. If you had known he wasn’t “Mr. Right” or “Ms. Right,” you wouldn’t have spent so much time with him or her. You want to get married and have kids one day, not be in an endless string of relatively short-term relationships. So how can you tell if he’s not Mr. Right? Here are some tips to help you out.
Bradley Cooper can’t date us all…

You notice that your spouse is particularly tired after a long day of work. You had a busy day, too, but it seems like your sweetie could use a treat. What can you do? Tell him or her to take out the garbage! Just kidding! How about giving them 30 minutes of your undivided attention? You can give them a great massage that recharges their batteries. There’s something magical about a good massage that instantly relieves stress and puts people in a better mood. The best part is you don’t have to be a professional masseuse in order to help your loved one feel special. Here are some tips you can use the next time you notice your significant other looking stressed out.

Now, I am in no position to claim any sort of authority when it comes to relationships. Let’s just get that our of the way right now. That’s not to say that I haven’t done the time or read the books, or experienced the heartache and wobbled in the joy, but I know that every relationship is different. There is no way that I (or anyone else) can sit and dictate what is the right or wrong way to handle a partner or a marriage, or anything else that takes place in a relationship. However, there are a few insights that I find are widely applicable to all couples – because even with all the things that make couples unique, these are there are fundamental principles.

<h3Your Partner

This may seem a bit obvious, but it is something that people are sometimes blindsided towards. There are a whole range of reasons why fall in love with someone; it can start with physical attraction; it could be the fact that they spoil you and want to look after you; it could even be that they remind you of someone who used to know. All these reasons are not sustainable – we are complex beings, and so in being complex are constantly looking to have that complexity fulfilled, challenged and fed. Therefore, when the surface level things (and believe me they are far harder to identify than one would think) begin to fade, an emptiness will follow. Don’t believe that you are too picky in this judgement either; do what is best for you and for the person you are thinking about being with. There is no value in committing into something where you cannot receive the true worth from it.

Your Ideals

I am not saying that you should not be open to change; if we were not open to change then there is no possible way to grow and achieve and better ourselves in the long run.

Are you ready to move on from your present relationship? Before you break up with your partner, ask yourself these six questions first.
Am I sure this is what I want?
They don’t say that “breaking up is hard to do” for nothing. It is hard, and it sucks. With so much emotion and time already invested in the relationship, it can be very painful when things end. Before you go through with it, make sure it’s what you really want, and sleep on it a few nights. Your decision should be concrete, not a wishy-washy one that you might end up changing your mind about later.

Is there anything we could do to work things out?
Think about why you’re unhappy with the relationship and want to end it. Are you concerns anything that could be helped? Have you discussed them thoroughly with your partner? Sometimes problems and misunderstandings can be worked out if only you communicate about them honestly. If both of you want things to work, then try everything you can before you call it quits.

What will I say to my partner?
Don’t have the breakup conversation without rehearsing it a little bit first. You don’t have to say your speech out loud or practice with a friend, but it’s a good idea to put some thought into what you want to say. Try to keep things short and to the point, but think about how you can get your point across in the best way possible. If you don’t have a plan, you might end up kicking yourself for not saying what you really wanted to.

How will my partner react to the news?
Even if things are really bad, you should consider your partner’s feelings, too. You did love each other at one time, after all. You don’t necessarily have to sugarcoat things, but at least attempt to be as respectful as possible. Pick a time that’s convenient for both of you to talk, and keep your expectations for the conversation in check. Don’t expect your partner to react any certain way or you might be disappointed.

Are there any side effects of the breakup to consider?
If you’ve been together a long time, you probably have some common interests to consider. You might live together, share belongings, have mutual friends, or be close with each other’s families. Think about how you will divide your property, and what you’ll say to your friends and family when you break the news. If the breakup was initiated by you and your partner is very hurt, you might want to consider making some compromises or concessions in order to keep the peace as best you can.

What do I want things to be like between us in the future?
Sometimes couples find it hard to remain friends after they’ve split, while others stay close. What would be ideal to you? If you want to stay friends, express that to your partner, but don’t expect them to want the same thing, and respect them if they don’t. If you don’t want to ever see them again, break ties as cleanly and completely as possible.