“But,” I countered, “You don’t understand! My family is religious. My family is full of missionaries, pastors, global do-gooders. They couldn’t possibly be cockroaches!”

The next few comments sent shivers… He told me that I was a bad person and that if I tried to come up to Prairie, he would have me arrested at the border. I tried to regain my composure enough to ask which country was going to arrest me and for what reason. He told me it didn’t matter and that one of the countries would arrest me. I assumed he had some sort of Prairie-ordained power, that was enough power to have control over the legal system of two countries. Ok, maybe a bit far fetched, but when you are shaking like a leaf, the logic gets pushed aside and all you think about is the safety and preservation of your family, especially your children. This is called BULLYING. And, it worked!

Why have I been so silent? Because I was hiding in my closet, afraid of the label of victim, afraid that I would get death threats again, afraid that family would try to kill me (again), afraid of being maligned and my credibility attacked (again). Well, heck, if I am going to be maligned and threatened, then I might as well stand up for the victims and survivors and really give them more reason to malign me and threaten me.

Ok, it is time to come out of the closet. I didn’t want to share this with you. I mean, after all, I didn’t want to be labeled. Ready for it? I am an abuse victim. No, wait… >> I am a SURVIVOR! Oh, I cringe, I didn’t want to have to tell you that!

Why have I been so silent? Because I was hiding in my closet, afraid of the label of victim, afraid that I would get death threats again, afraid that family would try to kill me (again), afraid of being maligned and my credibility attacked (again). Well, heck, if I am going to be maligned and threatened, then I might as well stand up for the victims and survivors and really give them more reason to malign me and threaten me

I ordered my favorite sandwich, the McRib, and got to my table to realize that it had two bottoms. At first, I thought it was upside-down, which would seem to take some extra effort, beyond the normal factory-procedure sandwich-making process. However, it was not upside-down. It was simply two bottoms. The bottom of a McRib is not quite as tasty as the top, so two tops would have been more enjoyable.

That rock instead of a miracle? Turn it into a stepping stone instead of just a rock. Assess the positives of the experience and find ways to turn those positives into bigger positives.