Deborah E answers the question, “The guy that I have known for a long time now told me that his girlfriend would be coming for a visit. I love him. He told me that it is not that he would marry any girl that he had dated. Please advice me on what to do.”
It sounds like you are saying that this guy is not interested in marriage at all, or that he has a desire to marry someone whom he has not met yet or does not know. If he has lofty dreams of someone whom he does not know, his desire for this unknown woman is elevated to a level that possibly no one could reach, not even the unknown woman, herself.
We are human beings, good points and bad. Our flaws need to be embraced as much as our beauties.
If he is telling you that his girlfriend is visiting, but not to worry because he wouldn’t be marrying her, then I would ask myself if this is one-sided. Does the girlfriend know that she has reached the plateau of their relationship, that they will never, according to him, proceed past this point? This is not really our business, but if that is what this guy is saying, he is not really expressing an interest in marriage with or to anyone, so it makes it a little tricky for you when your desire is to marry someone who doesn’t want to be married.
Deborah E answers the question, “Why don’t I feel the man yet he is happy before me?”
I understand that you are suffering and that this is a very difficult situation for you, one that is not easily resolved and one for which a resolution is hard to identify.
First of all, you need to communicate this with your man. Possibly, you have already done this. If he is uncaring on how you feel and the fulfillment that you need, you may want to look at the relationship, beyond the intimacy time. You may want to consider meeting with a counselor to discuss aspects of your relationship.
If you have discussed it and your relationship is intact, but neither of you can find a way to have mutual happiness, then you may want to
The following is an article by Deborah E, PositivePersistence.com, published on Mission Notes.
Read full article.
The following is an article by Deborah E, PositivePersistence.com, published on Mission Notes.
Read full article.
Reframing a View on the Consequences of Actions
A long, long, time ago (these stories do start like that, right?), there was a beautiful young damsel. We will call her, “Damsel.” She lived in a fortress called the “Fortress of Fantasy” (“Fantasy,” for short) and she was quite happy there, having just arrived. She had been found in another village where she was not well cared for and was “rescued” by the people of Fantasy.
There was another fortress, across the field, called the “Fortress of Bubbles” (“Bubbles,” for short). The people of Fantasy did not like the people of Bubbles. In fact, they blamed Bubbles for the treatment that Damsel received in the village that she had come from, so she felt that she must be extra-safe in Fantasy.
My grandpa has been gone many, many years now. He has been gone more years than I knew him here on earth. But, he is never gone from my heart.
It is probably true that I have put him on a pedestal far beyond what he deserves, as a mere human, and I certainly know that he would say so himself(!), but, nonetheless, the memory of him has helped me through times when there is confusion in life. And for that, I thank God that I had the chance to know him and be loved by him.
Love Requires No Words
I remember my grandparents’ house. It was a looooong house. At least, it seemed so to a little kid. I used to come in the front door and go straight back to the spot where my grandpa would be sitting in his black rocking chair. I would climb up in his lap and snuggle close. It was as if he was there waiting for me.