Deborah E answers the question, “I want to always be positive….and perceive positive thoughts. How do I do this?”
I am so proud of you, that you want to be positive! You have taken the most difficult step, already, desiring to be positive! Pat yourself on the back and here is a big hug coming your way!
I think of positive thinking as a daily, almost moment by moment process. It is not necessarily a destination, but rather a journey. There are days when it may be more difficult. But, at the same time, as we learn to see the positive in circumstances, people, our surroundings, we become accustomed to the thought process and there are actually days that it is really easy to be positive. But, we have to cut ourselves slack, knowing that, in some cases, it is a matter of re-training how we think and view things. But remember, you can’t get there if you don’t want to, which is why your desire to be positive is so essential.
I am actually writing a free ebook
Deborah E answers the question, “Does he have the same feelings as me? I love him but we are so far away.”
It is always difficult when you love some one so much and do not know if they have the same feelings for you, let alone if those same feelings are to the same magnitude that you have for him or her.
The most effective way to get an answer to the question of whether he has the same feelings is to ask him. While there may be signs, body language, etc. that may give you the inclination that he may have the same feelings for you, there is no magic trick that can confirm it as well as asking him directly. Even asking friends or family of his, or asking your own friends will only give their interpretation and opinion, or possibly what they have heard from him directly, but if they are able to get the answer from him directly, to relay to you, you should be able to have the same access to information directly from him.
Deborah E answers the question, “I speak with a male friend almost every day and have web intimacy time and share thoughts daily, yet he will not ask to see me.”
I do understand how much pain this is causing you. You are viewing this is a relationship which hasn’t provided an opportunity to see each other face to face, in-person, and then feeling hurt and frustrated when this relationship doesn’t take that step when that step is available to you. That is truly painful.
I presume that you have asked him if you can get together and he has refused. If, on the other hand, you are hoping that he will ask you to get together in person and he hasn’t asked yet and that confuses you. If the second scenario is the case, then you can ask him about getting together. I am going to operate from the presumption that you have discussed it and he has either refused, or avoided the possibility of getting together, to a point that you feel personally rejected.
Deborah E answers the question, “I have a friend. We have not gotten together much, but we became best friends in a couple of days. Now suddenly, he is not talking to me. He is not replying to my texts or picking up my calls. I really miss him. What do I do to get him back?”
That is great that you were able to hit if off so well and so quickly that you became best friends. I am assuming that you have been friends for a while and that you went from the “acquaintance” level to “close friends” within those couple of days. If that is not the case, and you have only known this friend for a couple of days it is another issue and may be a case of not having had enough time to develop the depth of a sustaining friendship.
So, operating from the assumption that this is a good friend whom you have known for a while (longer than two days), it is obvious (and understandable!) that you would like to know why he is not responding to your texts or phone calls. All of us would want the answer to that question, even if it is not an answer that we want to hear, worst case scenario.
Deborah E answers the question, “What am I doing?”
I am not psychic. However, I imagine, at the time that you wrote the question, you were typing on our web site. LOL
So, Anupama, what ARE you doing?
Deborah E answers, “Hey…I am from India. Well, you might be knowing the thinking of Indian parents about your son or daughter being in a relationship. Well, that is EXACTLY my problem. I have a boyfriend and I am in 9th grade. My parents came to know about it. They told me to stop it, but I am really too much in love with him to end this relationship now. We met at my old society. He hugged me and he kissed me on my cheek. I just told about this to my best friends at school. and my sister. I really trust them. Somehow my parents came to know about all this. They were talking about transferring me to some other place, but I somehow convinced them to keep me in the same school with my sister’s help. They have told me to end the relationship and be friends, but they just can’t understand our relationship. I have told them that I would, but I myself know that it is impossible. I have told all this to my boyfriend. He said that he would do anything to keep me out of trouble. What should i do? I get equally loved from both sides! Parents or love?? Whom should i choose???”
Oh, my dear, I do feel your anguish. I may have been “around the block” a couple more times than you, with some experience, but it was not so long ago that I have forgotten these feelings of young love!
Is it safe to assume, that you would prefer to have both your boyfriend and your parents, rather than to have to choose? You know you really are blessed, because you have a boyfriend that cares about you and parents that care about you! And, you have your friends and your sister!
The fact that your boyfriend said that he would “do anything to keep you out of trouble” says a lot about how much he cares for you and that