Deborah E answers, “Nowadays I am feeling very tense. Nothing is going right.”

We all have these tense moments from time to time, so you are certainly normal in feeling this way. The thing that we need to keep in mind is how much this controls your life and every waking moment of the day. In that case, it is extreme and can be detrimental to your physical, emotional, and mental health.

Even if everything in your life were to be going “right” and smooth, if you are tense, it isn’t going to *feel* like it is going right and it will file like a train that has gotten de-railed off the railroad tracks.

So, let’s look at the tense feelings, first. It is best if we can define the root cause of the tense feelings and negativity that is creeping into your perspective. This may not be that easy to identify and may require the assistance of a therapist or counselor to help you work through and talk out your issues. In that way, if you can get to a particularly bothersome root cause, you may be able to address it or

Deborah E answers, “I had a friend who was very close to me. We were in contact for two years. I loved him a lot. We had a good time with each other but now I came to know that he doesn’t love me and has a girlfriend. I don’t know how to take all this. I am totally messed up. Please help me out. i can’t forget him and can’t see him with the other girl either.”

Love is a complicated thing. It can be felt, for some, at different levels and in different ways. The fact that you had a friendship with this guy for two years said that you do each care about each other. While it is possible that he was “faking” it, as far as the friendship (only because we have to allow for all possibilities), it is not probable, unless there is some motivation for faking it. So, let’s assume that the friendship was, and still is, genuine.

Do you have really good friends of yours, say that you have known and cared about since you were young? Do you care about them? Would you say you love them? That is a form of love that you feel for each of these dear friends of yours.

Deborah E answers, “I am lost and depressed every time when I don’t get true love.”

I do feel for you, with the pain of possibly unrequited (“un-returned”) love, not finding the love of your life, or not even finding that special someone with whom you can have a relationship, in the here and now.

All of us as humans, desire to love and be loved, and many of us search for that love. Some of us may even find it, but you know, even for those of us who find “true love” it is not a 100% bed of roses and it does not solve all of our problems, or even fill all of the crevices in us that desire to be loved so entirely.

Understanding that no one person can satisfy all of our human needs and wants and desires is a first step toward putting the desire for love and a companion into perspective. Another aspect of that is to realize

Deborah E answers the question, “Can you help me with my love problems? I’m so tired.”

Oh, I would love to be able to help you with all of your problems. But, like you, I am only human, only have a capacity for that level. There is no magic wand that I could wave, or anyone could wave, in my opinion, that would make all the love problems go away.

I can share this with you. In the process of working through the “love problems” in my own life, I have grown. My character has grown, I have learned new things and new perspectives and, you know what? I have become stronger, as a result. I realize that may sound like an easy answer, but the reality is that it is not easy, but it is worth it, again, in my experience.

Deborah E answers the question, “Is it possible I’m pregnant? I have had sex after my menstruation.”

Honey, it is possible you are pregnant. While there are times that is less likely than others, the only real way to ensure that you do not become pregnant is not having sex. In fact, even contraceptive measures such as birth control pills, with a very high success rate, does not make you immune to pregnancy, even when the pill is taken faithfully, daily.

My suggestion is that you obtain a home pregnancy kit, if you have one available in your area. Generally, they are available at drug stores and, even grocery stores, possibly some “dime stores” and corner markets. There are a wide variety of options available to you, to determine whether you are pregnant or not.

Whether the test shows positive or negative, set up an appointment to visit your doctor. In most places, the nurses and doctors will be very kind and will walk you through the testing process, as well as answering your questions regarding birth control and the most effective methods.